As it is glaring in our society of how much patriarchy has eaten deep into our society. Our cultures show the overbearing male dominance and superiority. Patriarchy shows how men are better, more respected and more privileged in the society. It permeates nearly all aspect of our lives. Patriarchy was set up to the benefit of men, but more than it did of good, it also had adverse effect on men as they are put under the constant scrutiny of the irrational norms patriarchy has put in place.
In this article i will be discussing how patriarchy has affected men how feminism has helped reduce the harmful results of patriarchy in the society. It will also be discussing how feminism has helped men become less rigid and toxic and helped them come to the place of self love and self actualization that isn’t hindered by unrealistic male expectations.
First on the list of harmful traits isnon- vulnerability. Patriarchy has put too much pressure and expectations on men that being vulnerable makes them uncomfortable. They feel odd exploring part of their lives mind and personalities. Another aspect is that they uphold the belief of patriarchy such that they don’t question or reflect on the cons of it, as the allowed to wallow in chains of harmful, destructive and hate filled norms that negatively affect those around them and inevitably, themselves.
On the other hand, feminism turns the idea of avoiding reflectivesness on its head. Feminism advocates that for all people, men especially, should be reflective, to learn and to unlearn. A big part of feminismunderstands how ones action and beliefs affect others, while patriarchal masculinity systematically upholds manvs the world mentality.
Second on the list of the negative traits of patriarchy is the tendency for competition. Inherently, most men live in comparison of their lives with others and with the presence of the masculinity traits make it far worse. Almost every aspect of men’s lives is shrouded by the need to see themselves as better than other men or people in general. For example, they see the need to grow bigger muscles, better abs and more strength than other men or perhaps intellectually, the fight to always be right and correct on a topic even though the other person is far more knowledgeable than them.
Meanwhile, it’s another different view in the feminist world; it has developed the notion of creating solidarity, self love and development, rather than the intent to compete with others.Feminist are much more interested in creating an environment which is safer and comfortable for many people as possible. This can be beneficial for men who have issues accepting themselves without the need to be in competition.
Third on the list is ignorance. In a way patriarchy benefits men but not all men. For example, a black man opposed to a white man? Can we call them equal? As we know in our society today we still have the racial norms. Or perhaps a poor man to a rich man?Or the disabled to the able-bodied?or even the uneducated to the educated? What patriarchy believes that all men are equal while itstill supports the discrimination against those who aren’t white, rich or educated.
While as, more recently feminism is looking at everyone’s experiences through the lens of intersectionality. This means that other than looking at a man as just man, we see that he could also be black, transgender, poor or disabled. With this focus, it helps both men and women in all their races or status to understand the various forms of oppressions and how they can be eradicated.
Fourth on the list is the presence of rape culture. There’s no escaping the fact that we live in a society where sexual violence is rampant and to top it, the reality of rape cultures. Our society has been historically set up in a way that makes rape, sexual violence or romantic manipulation not only possible but rather on a normal, expected occurrence for many people. When a victim is sexually abused we put the blame on the abused and we begin to as ridiculous questions like ‘ what was she wearing, where was she’ removing the responsibility from the man who committed the act in the first place. It goes beyond the physical as even on social media, women are devalued, insulted and sexualized.
Feminism on the other hand, is completely riding our society of rape and its culture. NGO’s are set up to provide services and security to women or victims. Feminism is out to protect everyone from the horrible outcome of rape and sexual violence both in homes and the society. Feminism breaks the silence of victims and makes it more comfortable to speak up so that the perpetrators can be brought to book.
Finally,on the list is the notionofkeepingupthestatusquo,menare oblivious to the fact that oursocietyisbuilttoputthemaheadofwomenandnonbinarypeople.Thepatriarchyupholds the ideology thatmenareinherentlybetterthanothers,simplybythe standing ofbeingaman. Ridiculously, even if you’re identified as a man, if you don’t dance to the tunes of the patriarchy music, you will be treated as an ” other as well “.Moreimportantly,though,weseewheremenareputonapedestalwhileothersfallbythewayside.Typically,menarepaidmore,menareofferedjobsmoreoften,seen as superior, respected more, menpaylessforproducts,menaren’tsubjectedtoconstantcatcallingorsexualviolence,mendon’thavetofacetheirinsecurities,andmenaresatisfied and content with that.Unfortunately,womenandnonbinaryfolksusuallydon’tenjoy these same options,andthey’reforcedtobeuncomfortable,disrespected , devaluaved, feelunsafe,orfaceviolenceonadailybasis.
Thankfully,feminismhasdevelopeda solution forthisby levelingtheunbalance in the playing field. This doesn’t mean mean should go through the disadvantages or challenges as others but men should understand and consider what others are going through and therefore make conscious effort to eradicate it as much as it lies in their power to.Feministsstrivefirstandforemostforequality,aswellashealthyinterpersonalrelations.Whilestrivingforequalityandgivinguppowerandhierarchysoundsscaryforalotmen,itactuallypresentsanopportunityformentoputtheireffortintocreatingasocietywherewomenandnonbinarypeopledon’tautomaticallyfearmen,especiallycismen.(PhilippeLeonardFradet)
Dayspring Olusanya